15. Born in Lockdown – 277 New Mothers. One Shared Story.

Available to download free from Mothership Writers website
(Image: Esther Curtis)

Born in Lockdown, a creative collaborative writing project initiated as part of Mothership Writers by author Emylia Hall, has been such a raw and emotional read for me. Each paragraph, each story, each reflection on pregnancy, birth and post-birth during lockdown had me hooked, and at the same time filled with so much emotion. And no matter how hard I tried to detach myself from the words I read, everything reminded me of my own experiences of giving birth, and how much I had relied on having my husband and my mother by my side, especially when the paediatric cardiologist gave us the initial diagnosis.

Continue reading “15. Born in Lockdown – 277 New Mothers. One Shared Story.”

14. …And she’s TWO 🥳

I had always imagined ‘motherhood’ would just come to me, and once I’d had a child everything would simply fall into place and I’d be planning on the next one….but that’s not quite what happened!

After a 4 year battle with infertility, and having to accept this may not happen for us, finding out I was pregnant was a welcomed surprise.

And then within a blink of an eye I was sat in the recovery room after my c-section, waiting to be reunited with my daughter.

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13. Working from Home… With a Toddler… During a Pandemic

My scheduled work week looks like this, and in theory I should be working 2.5 days in the week…

Monday – work day

Tuesday – half day at work

Wednesday – day off

Thursday – work day

Friday – day off

Saturday / Sunday – weekend

…the reality of my working week, and day, is somewhat different…

Continue reading “13. Working from Home… With a Toddler… During a Pandemic”

12. Guiding Words for 2021

Inspired by Bibi Watts (bibi_watts) on Instagram, I thought it would be good to start this new year with some guiding words, instead of resolutions.

Now don’t get me wrong, I write a list of financial, spiritual, personal and fitness related goals every December for the upcoming year with my husband, and totally believe it helps shape our year and keeps us focussed.

Only this year I wanted to change things up a bit, as my list is currently looking a bit blank and I’ve felt hesitant and unsure about what to write down as my goals. FYI he’s had his list sorted for a number of days already, and that’s bugging me too 🤣

So, my 3 guiding words for 2021 are:

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11. Mental Health and Home

Its been a while since my last post, as I’ve suddenly become more active on my Instagram page, and writing meaningful captions for each post are taking away my creative juices from writing these longer blog posts (does anyone else feel like that?)…but here’s a life update…we’ve finally moved!

We were living in a 1 bed rented flat, that had more issues than you could count on one hand, and each month something else was going wrong. With a landlord/agent who weren’t really doing much about the issues, we had no other choice but to move, and I am so glad we did.

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10. Why Do You Choose To Wander?

Why do you choose to wander
Through the darkness all alone?

I’m searching for the part of me
I lost so long ago

The part that forms my identity
And my innermost soul

I’m looking for the peace I had
So I never let it go

The calm that was snatched from me
And the smiles I couldn’t show

I’m hoping for a clarity
To free me from this unknown

And lighten up the pathway
For the journey that I’m on

Why do I choose to wander
Through this darkness all alone?

I want to feel the life again
From my fingers to my toes

As I’m tired of being a shadow
Of the girl I used to know

9: Baby A’s Story – Congenital Heart Defect

The day of baby A’s birth was a calm and happy day. All staff involved in the c-section were positive and extremely supportive, and I was completely relaxed as a result. It wasn’t long before baby A was shown to me over the screen and all I remember is a head full of dark hair.

It was at this point that one of the surgeons called in the paediatric consultant, and all I heard was there was meconium present as she was born. As a result Baby A wasn’t handed to me for skin to skin, and instead was whisked away to have her oxygen levels and various other stats checked.

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8: Mental Health Awareness Week

I’ve been thinking about what to write, or how to begin, a post about mental health awareness – and every time I start this post there’s voices saying “don’t do it, don’t say it out loud”. But I know that’s probably the reason why I should.

I have met many people over the years who are suffering from a variety of mental health issues, and every year through my work I have more and more students who share their struggles with me too. I wish I had the ability to help them more than just being a listening ear and guidance on how to navigate their studies or training commitments , but I’ve learnt that often that’s enough and can ease the day to day pressures for them.

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7: I Don’t Present, I Teach

I don’t present,
I teach.
And sometimes that’s messy
With parts that are structured
And sometimes that means we
Diverge from what was thought of
We’re constantly assessing
Responding and progressing

I don’t present,
I teach.
So I responded, I adapted
I re-planned it all and reacted
I changed the way I taught
I tried to be interactive
I transferred it all online
And a new classroom was created

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6: The Pressure to Procreate

I always wanted a big family, ever since I can remember, and I used to wonder why my parents only had 4 children especially when they married so young. I had envisioned that after finishing studying, I would get married and have lots of children, and it never crossed my mind that things might not be as straight forward as this.

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